What Women Want
I'll solve the mystery right here and now. There's an unfortunately common Catch-22 going around in my generation, and it goes something like this:
Our boy (Jack) likes a girl (Jill). He likes her a lot, and asks her out. Jill, seeing the potential in Jack, and that he is a nice guy, decides to give it a chance. Jack and Jill are together for a few months, and Jack is rapidly falling for Jill. Jill is completely aware of this, and while she doesn't return the feelings with the same intensity, she knows she feels happy and safe and that she is where she wants to be.
A guy's question: Why is Jill with Jack if she doesn't love him back?
My answer: She's not going to end it just because she doesn't return the sentiment just yet. She likes him a lot, give her time.
Back to the story. Jill knows how Jack feels, because she is not stupid. Jack does not outright tell her - what he's experiencing puts him off his game, and the last thing he wants is to screw it up with Jill by saying the wrong thing. So, he plays it safe. He won't tell her unless she can tell him back.
Here's where my incredible, 20 year-old insight comes in, and the whole Catch-22 thing: Jack won't tell her because he doesn't want to screw it up, and because it's a pride-buster to not get the return he needs. Keep in mind that Jill knows how he feels. She watches her normally confidant, take-charge boyfriend become a wuss as he finds every possible way to let her know how he feels without ever telling her directly. She needs him to be a man and say it. He needs her make him feel that she returns the feeling, so it's safe to say it.
Women want confidance - it's an instinctual thing. We seek the mate who will be most likely to impregnate us and create strong, healthy offspring. While this doesn't necessarily mean that we go around theorizing about your sperm, it does mean that a confident, even cocky attitude is a hell of a lot more attractive than an insecure, self-deprecating one. That's why girls date assholes and a lot of nice guys end up falling by the wayside. In Jack and Jill's case, Jill finds Jack's insecurity on the whole 'feelings' issue a turnoff. On the other hand, we can't really expect Jack to be so upfront about his feelings when there's the possibility he'll be shot down.
It's not easy to put yourself out on an emotional limb. But maybe if Jack did, that act of confidence would be the one that pushes Jill into realizing how much of a great guy he really is. Plus, who doesn't want to be loved?
Sometimes women really do need men to take the lead. It's not always fair, and people will get hurt, but there it is.
I'll solve the mystery right here and now. There's an unfortunately common Catch-22 going around in my generation, and it goes something like this:
Our boy (Jack) likes a girl (Jill). He likes her a lot, and asks her out. Jill, seeing the potential in Jack, and that he is a nice guy, decides to give it a chance. Jack and Jill are together for a few months, and Jack is rapidly falling for Jill. Jill is completely aware of this, and while she doesn't return the feelings with the same intensity, she knows she feels happy and safe and that she is where she wants to be.
A guy's question: Why is Jill with Jack if she doesn't love him back?
My answer: She's not going to end it just because she doesn't return the sentiment just yet. She likes him a lot, give her time.
Back to the story. Jill knows how Jack feels, because she is not stupid. Jack does not outright tell her - what he's experiencing puts him off his game, and the last thing he wants is to screw it up with Jill by saying the wrong thing. So, he plays it safe. He won't tell her unless she can tell him back.
Here's where my incredible, 20 year-old insight comes in, and the whole Catch-22 thing: Jack won't tell her because he doesn't want to screw it up, and because it's a pride-buster to not get the return he needs. Keep in mind that Jill knows how he feels. She watches her normally confidant, take-charge boyfriend become a wuss as he finds every possible way to let her know how he feels without ever telling her directly. She needs him to be a man and say it. He needs her make him feel that she returns the feeling, so it's safe to say it.
Women want confidance - it's an instinctual thing. We seek the mate who will be most likely to impregnate us and create strong, healthy offspring. While this doesn't necessarily mean that we go around theorizing about your sperm, it does mean that a confident, even cocky attitude is a hell of a lot more attractive than an insecure, self-deprecating one. That's why girls date assholes and a lot of nice guys end up falling by the wayside. In Jack and Jill's case, Jill finds Jack's insecurity on the whole 'feelings' issue a turnoff. On the other hand, we can't really expect Jack to be so upfront about his feelings when there's the possibility he'll be shot down.
It's not easy to put yourself out on an emotional limb. But maybe if Jack did, that act of confidence would be the one that pushes Jill into realizing how much of a great guy he really is. Plus, who doesn't want to be loved?
Sometimes women really do need men to take the lead. It's not always fair, and people will get hurt, but there it is.
posted by Laura at 4:02:00 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home