I'm having one of those no-motivation times. The weather's starting to cool down, and I've pretty much been hanging around in Buckley since after lab. Still too full to think about swimming, although I really did want to go running tonight. Ah well - I'm definitely gonna be in the pool tomorrow morning, whatever else happens. Backboarding, spinal injuries - that's the stuff I consider "real" lifeguarding. Everything else almost any dumbass can do - yell loud, enforce rules, be able to perform basic rescues, and of course CPR and first aid, but pulling someone off the bottom of a 13 ft deep end and keeping their head in in-line stabilization as you swim the two of you to the surface (at an angle, no less), that's the shit. That's skill right there. It's hard as hell, though still not as hard as keeping the person on the surface with no rescue tube. I always had problems with that.

I'm looking forward to seeing my parents in a couple days. I take for granted sometimes that I have two normal, intelligent, good-looking people for parents. My mom's a nurse and my dad a factory worker, both around 50 (but you would never guess it to see them). Talking to my friends here, it seems like everyone's parents are 1)overprotective, 2)underprotective, and thus completely unaware of what's going on with their offspring, 3)absent in some form, or some variable fourth option. I may not have a "home" to go back to this weekend (still in house limbo), but home is where my family is. Which is somewhere in Watertown at the moment.

I have the usual amount of Wednesday-Thursday science/math stuff to get done. Maybe it's the weather, but I just can't get too worked up over it. Thursdays aren't too bad for me, usually - I can stay to swim laps after class, take that hour after calc to do homework, and then all I have is the usual Thursday physics grind.

Why are so many people so dependant on mind-altering substances to have any kind of personality? Sure, the occasional bout of drunken chaos is fun, but when you find yourself wasted every night of the week, you've got problems that go beyond the alcohol. Most likely, you're too insecure, shallow, lazy, or stupid to have a personality of your own. Maybe that's not entirely true, but I think it is for a lot of people around our age. When was the last time you parked yourself under a tree and stared at nothing? Were alone with your own thoughts?

You've always got your own company - be happy with yourself, or you'll end up with the kind of friends you have to modify your personality to be with. Don't watch MTV. Don't listen to any radio station with "hot" in the call letters. Don't idolize movie stars. The harder you work, the sweeter your downtime will be. (But downtime is sweet no matter what).

Working on next semester's class schedule. It may behoove me (hehe, behoove) to meet with my ACES advisor again.....don't knock the undecided, they're trying too. I think we have it rougher. A lot of you know (or think you know) what you want to do with the rest of your lives - I haven't gotten there yet. Who knows if I ever will. I'm here to be educated, and if I find my niche, so be it. At least in the meantime I'll be well-rounded.