I forget what this kid was running for, probably USG senator:

"If I am elected Cyclops, my expertise will be unparalleled. Ever since David Lee Roth quit Van Halen, I have been highly -some might say too highly- qualified. See, it's like this: you should vote for me because I have one giant red eye. The other candidates don't have that. Sometimes I pour butter (melted) on the sofa. My back fell off and I stitched on a new one made of velvet. These two activities directly conflict with my stated goal. If elected, I will not serve USG, but work for better parking-parking. Parking parking. I'm sicko rich. What!"

......I voted for him.