Here would go another away message check, but the only good one up right now is Kevin's. So, here is Kevin's away message:

"You can't run away from your problems. Unless your problem is a sweaty, irate, fat man. Then running away is probably a good bet because fat people can't run very fast. And the sweaty, fat man is probably weighed down by all of the chicken wings and grape soda that I saw him eating alone in his car parked behind the 7-11."