Where is that smell coming from? It's probably time to clean the room. I never vacuumed before moving in - that was how long ago?

Well, the smell will go away, and if not, then the source of the smell (rancid backpack) is coming to work with me tomorrow. Spending time at the Lake getting re-trained and all that jazz. Got trained on the Mark Twain (65 foot sternwheeler - it's purty inside) and realized I need to 1) control the motion sickness, and 2) get some practice tying knots and throwing ropes around. I'll get it soon enough.

There's nothing I'm really inclined to write about tonight, I just felt like updating. No startling personal revelations or events out of the ordinary. Random thoughts right now -

shouldn't have eaten that pastry

what the hell kind of life do you have if you're a celebrity worshiper - who cares about these people's private lives? The public is retarded, not the media - they just cater to us. Well, they're retarded too, but it's important to realize that people as a whole are generally spineless sheep. Sometimes they come in different colors or flavors, but they're tools all the same.

my blog still rules

i wish showering didn't take so long. I need a bath slave.

Sleep.

I need to start going to bed earlier.

I finally started officially unpacking my boxes and bags from both school and my old room, and then stopped when everything was out. Not put away, just out. So the room's still a tad messy, and oddly enough, more echo-y. But anyway - my little sister has been bothering me for the past couple days to use my computer. I kept telling her no, she kept asking, yadayada. Just now, I noticed that the AIM box was still up, with her screenname on it. The little stinker had remembered to get offline, but not to close down the AIM box. Caught red-handed, she is.....and she would have gotten away with it, too. Always cover your tracks.

I decided to sell my soul back to the Lake, and take on two jobs this summer. I was at Orientation for Lake Compounce today for a few hours, which was when my sister must have seized the opportunity. But I digress - working two jobs with no car is going to be a neat trick. I don't want to let either of them down - I can see the scheduling nightmares now. My re-cert class (for the Ellis certification - that's the one for the waterpark, NOT red cross) starts tomorrow night. Honestly, I'm really looking forward to pooltime. I miss swimming laps and playing with rescue tubes. Plus, this class is better than the Red Cross one. It teaches you how to be a lifeguard, rather than making sure you can half-ass a couple basic skills. I could go on awhile about the differences between the two, but does anyone really care but me (and possibly the people I work with)? Well, it's my blog, so if I ever get bored and take the time to make that list, you can just skip it.
Here's what it would look like:

A rescue tube is:

Ellis & Associates - A water-safety flotation device that can be utilized in a number of ways to facilitate safe aquatic rescues.

Red Cross - A floaty red thingie that's fun to stand on, but you're supposed to keep it wrapped neatly and out of your way.

You're on stand and you see a child in your area struggling keep himself afloat in deep water. What do you do?

E & A: Two long whistle blasts and E-stop if applicable, compact jump in, get the kid to safety using whatever technique works best. Call for assistance if necessary.

RC: Notice child with your peripheral vision, determine if child is A) a swimmer, B) a distressed swimmer, C) an active drowning victim, or D) a passive drowning victim. Once you've determined the child's status by carefully observing his arm movements (or lack thereof) and body position, run through your FIND model to make a decision. When you get to the D (for Decide) part, blow your whistle. Determine which jump to use to enter the water, again using FIND model if necessary. Make sure to run through the RISK factors, whatever that is. Once you reach the child, grasp him from behind using the rear hold. If you have to swim around him in order to approach from the back, that's ok. Those few extra seconds won't really mean much. If he grabs onto you when you're not ready, perform an escape and try again. Here I'd like to point out the stupidity of the rear approach - the poor kid can't see you when you grab him. But I digress - swim the kid to the side.

Do you see some holes in the RC approach? Some of their techniques need refining. Ellis has the refinement already built in. Their philosophy is "make it work", not "am I doing this right?" Not to say Ellis doesn't stress technique - it stresses the flexibilty of technique.

Ok, I'm done. I'm going to go to bed, or at least get a piece of cheese.

I'm the favorite, I think.

I spoke with my brother today for a little while. There is a lot of tension between him and my parents - they think he's a failure, and he thinks they think he's failure. He dreads coming home Thursday for Elizabeth's concert, and I don't blame him. He made a crack about bringing his own food in the event that they won't feed him....Elizabeth had a funny one tonight too, while I'm on the subject of conversations with siblings. It went something like this:

her: "Who do you think's gonna win American Idol?"
me: "I don't watch American Idol. It's stupid and bad and wrong."
her: "I want Rubin to win."

Well, I thought it was funny. Getting back to Mike - I feel awful for him, but there's also a touch of "it's not my problem" blended in. He makes me look like the good one. Not that I particularly like that - it's too big a responsibility. They smile at me and tonight gave me money. I didn't want to take it - Dad offered it to me while we were raking (still), and I said no, feeling very big. Later on they told me they had saved it from the money I had given them last summer, and to take it to tide me over until my next job starts. Well, who am I to argue with that?

My boss from Lake Compounce called today, supposedly to find out when I was going to get recertified. I told him that no one had contacted me, so I had gone ahead and gotten another job. Jerry sounded kind of surprised, and I told him I was willing to try to stay on part time. I didn't realize I was going to say that until the words were out of my mouth. So, depending on whether or not I have a car to use. I may be working two lifeguarding jobs this summer. If anyone plans on going to Lake Compounce, let me know and I'll get you a nice discount, if I take the job.

My little sister is having her spring band concert Thursday night. At the last one, she got nervous and had to get off the stage before they had even started playing. There was a lot of drama, and I thought my parents handled the situation very poorly. The kid had stage fright is all - she had worked herself up for it so much that she was overwhelmed when the big moment (for her) came. Keep in mind she's all of ten years old. I felt awful for her then - she knew she had messed up, felt like a failure, thought she had let everyone down.....her friends were sympathetic and so was I, but mom and dad decided to take the hardass approach. I think they really shocked some people when they spoke to her after the concert.....I can understand why they did; nearly everything she does is driven by her need to be in the center of attention, but she's just a kid, and a frightened, distraught one (at the time) at that. Whatever, she hasn't faked sick in a long time, so maybe they know what they're doing. As far as parents go, I still think I lucked out.

This year's AP English class is frantically working on their term papers right now. Suckas.

I spent some time in the past couple days outside with my dad, raking dirt. Well, raking rocks is more accurate; roots and rocks. (that's what it says in the song we made up) I got up at noon today and yesterday and spent 4-6 hours out there. My dad had been at it both mornings, and for at least another hour or two or three after I quit for the day. I don't know how the guy does it; I'm a walking sore. My fingers are still swollen from the rake and shovel, but it's overall not as bad as it was yesterday night. No one get offended now, but it really is "nigger work". Do you have a better word for moving rocks around?

We didn't go to graduation yesterday, because my brother didn't graduate. He has to take a class over, which caused major drama-tension in the house for awhile. I think the worst is definitely over now, and everyone realizes that it's not the end of the world. All he needs is his mom feeling heartedly disappointed in him and his little sister writing about him in her online journal. I would've liked to go to commencement anyway to see Andy and Fran, and anyone else I may've known. Barring that, I could've volunteered with Candice at the Tour of Connecticut through Waterbury, but it's all good because I spent the day raking rocks from dirt.

Wanna hear a funny story? I was at Candice's last night, trying to ignore my aching everything while sprawled out on the floor watching The Ring. Supposed to be a hard-ass scary movie, right? Well, we did freak out, but it wasn't because of the movie - Candice spotted a daddy-long-legs on the armchair. Why they cause this reaction in me, I don't know. All I know is that I turn into a frightened 3 year-old around them. I can rip out my own hair with hot wax, I can write a 17-page litererary critique in 2 nights and get an A, I can pass physics 131, I can move hundreds of pounds of dirt and stone, I can backboard an aquatic spinal injury in deep water, I can swim a mile, but I cannot touch a daddy-long-legs. I'd sooner ask for directions. We never found the damn thing, so we took the tape and watched it upstairs. Candice is 19 years old, I am 18. Is this sad, or cute?

Sittin' on the floor in my room......I just had an urge to hear "Dock of the Bay". Good stuff.

Home in the new house, my room still a mess, becoming less messy as time goes by. At this rate, everything will be clean by mid-August, just in time for school. My mom broke the dishwasher tonight. Ho hum.

I went with my mom to see my grandmother in the convelescent home today, and I know that word is spelled wrong and it's bothering me and this is a run-on sentence. She's unwell. Has been for some years now, but she hit a peak of unwellness about a year ago and has stayed right around there. Her new thing is yelling. She slept practically the whole time Mom and I were there, opening her eyes long enough for Mom to try to get some food into her. She wasn't having it though, and I don't blame her - lady wanted to sleep. She woke as we were leaving, and we heard her cry out as we made small talk with the nurses in the hallway. Interesting side note - one of the nurses there, who had just started today, has a son who not only goes to UCONN, but apparently lived on the floor below me. Small world, eh? Back to Grammie - we went back in, and she was awake and what passes for alert for her. Also distraught, but it was really unclear as to why. She was just.....distraught. It felt like leaving a very small child behind.

Then we went to Filene's, and bought clothes. Go fig.

Aaaaand we're done. Smiley face.

Got back from bio exam a few minutes ago. It doesn't feel like the end of the semester, or that last night was my last night here for 3 months......no wait, hallmates keeping me awake until 3am.....that could be a good "last" night. Because, you know, no one has early finals, so you should have your loud friends over and be loud. I am such a loser.

You know what? I don't care if I smell, or the room's messy, or I need to take a shower, or I haven't gone swimming in like 2 weeks. Nothing matters, because I'm done with finals and there are tacos today. Tacos!! Although I probably should do the swimming thing since there's no pool at home....

If anyone plans on taking Bio 107 next semester, let me know and I'll sell you my book.

I went to the co-op right after my physics exam this morning, to triumphantly (sp?) sell back my physics book. But alas, I was screwed - a new edition has come out. So if anyone wants a sixth-hand broken down shell of a college physics book, you can't have it because it will be an important participant in some interesting rituals this summer.

Hmm, what was it that I was going to write about? I went home for a day late Friday afternoon. I wrote somewhere that it takes 2.3 days for me to get tired of my brother - it's much, much less time for my little sister. She's a great kid, but that's because she's exactly like me. That's also why I can only take it in small doses.

My dad and I had an interesting conversation during the drive home. Well, any conversation with him is interesting. He's reading an organic chemistry textbook for fun. Yep. Anyway, we were discussing politics, or more accurately people in relation to politics. I've known for a while that I can't have political "discussions" with friends whose political opinions differ greatly than mine. I get angry and frustrated, and had chalked it up to my stubborn nature. I avoid the subject in mixed company whenever possible, even when provoked. My dad sympathized with me on this, but also provided me with some validation. I can't remember exactly what he said per se, but it had to with principles. Basically, strong political beliefs are rooted in one's principles. Having political "discussions" (read: arguments) is akin to having your principles challenged, which is why most strong-principled people tend to get emotional in arguments. They won't compromise their principles. So, I'm not just stubborn, I'm principled. I've used the word "principle" quite a bit in this paragraph.

The 4 or so hours of sleep are catching up to me.....think I'm gonna crash for now, study calc later. Byeeeee......

2 things I noticed big time about the new house - sounds carries. A lot. It's all hardwood floors and white walls, which will actually look nice when the boxes are gone. For now, I'm back at school. Got another chapter and change of bio done, and tomorrow I'll spend Mother's Day at the library with my physics book.

I had a nightmare about SARS last night, but it wasn't really SARS. It was a horribly deadly plague that left gruesome corpses in its wake. Kevin and I were trying to escape, going north on highway 25 in Utah (from Colorado). I kept calling 911, but at one point they told me they were too busy to help....

There's no highway 25 in Utah, is there?

So unmotivated.....

I did the calc thing this morning. That is, I went to see my calc professor and took a good 50 pages of her notes to the library to photocopy. 6 bucks and change later, I had my new calc notes, ran hers back to her in the math building, and headed back to B-town where I've been ever since. My dad will be here in maybe an hour and a half to bring home me and a lot of my stuff. I don't want to leave yet! Every time I go home, it's as if I never left. Bye bye, false sense of independance. At any rate, I'm going to try and get back here as early Sunday as I can to squeeze in more study time. Hopefully when I leave for good next Wednesday it won't be in a huge flurry of hastily packed stuff & junk, like it was for Christmas.
I'm not looking forward to going "home" to more messy chaos and things to do, not to mention parents and a little sister, but what're you gonna do? Nuthin. Reminds me, must get out Mother's Day card......shit!!!! Sunday is Mother's Day! How the hell am I gonna get out of there early?? *signs Mother's Day card*

So, my roommate and I are sitting in here, "here" looking like a bomb of mismatched luggage and plastic shopping bags has gone off......you know what I'd equate it to? The contents of a homeless person's shopping cart, except with more styling products and shoes. Several shopping carts. I want to lie down and maybe nap for a few minutes, but my bed is occupied with things. Maybe it's time for Nintendo......

I haven't posted in over a day! *gasp*

I'm spending more time with my guitar. I recorded myself just now, and I seem to have this watery, little-kid voice....do I really sound like that? Dumb question.
So, I'm going home tomorrow, not that I want to. My exams don't actually start until Monday, and I'll try to get back early Sunday. I still don't believe I'm really done with this piece in less than a week. And, I really don't believe the high school still has over a month to go. Sucks to graduate on June 23rd :-).

I guess I'm going to have to get up early tomorrow if I'm going to get those notes from my calc professor. That notebook I lost mentioned in my last entry - has physics, calc, and bio notes in it. I was able to get the bio (thanks Rav), the physics is a lost cause (in more ways than one), and the calc I can take care of in the (sigh) morning. I've been a little spacey and carefree the past week or so, just enjoying my time here and taking the whole academics thing lightly. I don't have a good enough work ethic to spend my free time usefully, so I end up with a lot of free time spent staring at the walls. Well, now that the weather's nice that's extended to staring at the sky while lying in the grass, but it's really all the same.

I need to edit the entry where I talked about the guy with the backpack - there's one too many interrupters in it (it's a "though"), so every time I read it I think of how good a kindergartener I would make. I could've just edited the entry without typing all that just now, but I want all and saundry (saundry?!) who read this to know that I realize my writing style needs work. Then again, maybe it doesn't.....it's quite possible that I rule too much to ever need to correct anything, ever. Shut up, it's my blog. I can write whatever I want! (smug look)

If I had actually used my livejournal instead of this here blog, would anyone leave me comments? You probably have my SN if you're reading this, but I can't be too sure of who "you" is. I try not to put anything in here that I know would offend or hurt anyone, or invade anyone's privacy.....which is hard sometimes, but good practice for the whole "not being an asshole" thing later on in life. So, if you're reading this and you don't know who I am, this is for you:

My name is Laura, not Jane. The "Jane" thing is a private joke with myself. I'm finishing up my second semester at UCONN, where I am majoring in nothing. If you ask me what my major is, I'll tell you that it is "being a superhero". I am 18 years old. If you want to/don't know what I look like, there's a pics link on my AIM profile. I'm from the small town of Plymouth, CT, where I'll be (sigh) all summer. I work as a lifeguard over the summer, and at the TV station here at school. I'm sure if I was still in high school I could tell you a lot more about myself, my hobbies, my talents, etc, etc, but I'm not sure what to say at this point. I asked my friend Candice a couple minutes ago to come up with a brief description of me, and here's what she came up with:

"star wars obsessed girl who also happens to be one of the founding members of the 5'2" and under club and an inductee of the female chocolate worshipers society against men".

That's a tad laden with private jokes ;) I do enjoy Star Wars, I am short, and I did once or twice or thrice suggest founding a sisterhood based on chocolate and shunning men....not one of my better ideas, but I think I was on to something with the chocolate thing. Anyone else got anything to say about me? Toss me an IM and I'll gladly post it, even if it's about how bad I smell.
Because, after all, it's my blog, and it can indeed be ALL ABOUT ME.

Goodnight!

I republished the archives. They should work now.

Listening to Natalie Imbruglia (album - "Left of the Middle") right now.....if anyone says "whiny chick rock", I'll kindly punch you in the nose :-)

I've been having a good week, I must say. Still haven't started studying, and I lost a VERY important notebook last Friday, but there's nothing more that I can do about that right now. The only thing I have to worry about now is sleeping. What a happy predicament.

I borrowed the car from my brother yesterday for an impromptu trip to McDonalds, and a date with Greg later on. No major hitches except for the getting lost repeatedly and the horridness of the movie (ok, it was entertaining, but you couldn't beat a sensical plot out of "Identity" with a very large stick), and the fact that Mike rear-ended a minivan on the way to his apartment. I was in the passengers side and wearing my seatbelt, so I got tossed forward a little, and kind of strained my right collarbone. It hurts on and off now. But, the rest of the night was fun, again barring the getting lost repeatedly and the bad movie. Yes! We should've seen X-Men! I know! Many have told me this. You are all right.

There's a beautifically gorgeous RA on the 4th floor of my building. I just needed to type that.

I talked to my family today for a little while. They're all somewhat settled in the new house, which is apparently still a mess. My mom told me that my little sister likes it there. I got on the phone with her, and asked her what she thought.

me: "So do you like it at the new house?"
her: "...........ummmmmmmm"
me: "Miss the house?"
her: (sad voice) "Yeeees!"

Went to Wal-Mart today with Jess, Emily, and Ashley. Check this out - I got a bikini, skirt, top, and Mother's Day card for $34.24. What beats that? Nothing. Ha, I wish I had more money. Feels like forever since I did the girl thing and spent all afternoon trying on clothes. The holes in my clothing attest to that ;-). I refuse to be self-concious about the safety pin that takes the place of a button on my faded, tattered plaid shirt - it's functional!

Must stretch tonight...

BLEEEEEAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH.................

Sorry, had to blog. Better now.

lelila1015: i think i need to blog
lelila1015: BLOG
Kitsune Zero 179: you should
Kitsune Zero 179: it makes everyone feel better

So, I'm walking back from Gampel this morning (last guard class....tear), and I saw an older man wearing a backpack by the old co-op. I had seen him on my way to class that morning as well, handing out pamphlets to passersby. I had been able to avoid him before, figuring the pamphlets to be some sort of political propaganda, since he didn't look like a striking construction worker. As I approached him this time however, no one else was in sight. My curiousity was in full force though, and I half-wanted to start a conversation. Someone with enough dedication to stand outside in the...light....rain for at least 2 hours handing out pamphlets to college students, alone, usually has some kind of story. So I took one, and he had these kind of creepy, googly eyes that said "light of fanaticism" all over them, and he said good morning. Needless to say, I didn't start a conversation, and walked towards Monteith reading about how he had found God, how to find God, what God is, etc. All I know for sure is that God hasn't turned up on AIM yet.

The ground behind Monteith was littered with religious pamphlets.

I was tired of not having any messages when I woke up, so I left this as my away message last night:

If you're taking the time to read this away message, then you can take the time to answer this question, ten words or less (just to make it hard):
Q. What will be your first thought when you wake up in the morning?

replies, in no particular order (not everyone stuck by the 10 word limit):

Melissa: Laura will be sleeping when I get back.....so jealous.....

Peggy: oh man.....ten more minutes, please.

Brian: What the hell is that beeping noise?

Steph: Fuck, i wanna sleep more.

Eve: bed....so warm...must not leave it....

Sara: I hope having my 2 wisdom teeth out isn't that bad...

Brandon: Sweet fucking christ, why wont you let me die!

Juliana: Sleep! More!

Saurav: If I am an evolved monkey, then what the hell happened to my tail?

My body is just this side of fatigued, in that place where you have to rest up to get the energy to walk down the hall to the bathroom or to climb up to the top bunk. It's a good feeling though, knowing that I did this to myself under controlled circumstances and not out of necessity. I'm getting closer and closer to swimming a mile - I made 60 laps today, with only brief stops. One thing I definitely need to improve is flip turns.....and when I say "improve", I mean "learn how to do". I can, but I can never seem to put it into practice. Fear of bashing my head against the wall keeps me in my stop, turn around, push off routine.

I found out tonight that a friend from middle/high school will not only be coming here, but also living in my building next semester. That makes two, hopefully.

For the past week or so, it seems that people in my life have been having serious relationship problems. No, not seems to - have been. It's a little selfish to sit here and whine about how others' problems have affected me, but it is my blog after all......it's discouraging. So many people around my age are involved in these intense, loving relationships, and so many are having horrible problems with theirs. Not too many healthy singles out there. It makes me glad to not be seriously involved with anyone, and then I feel like I'm missing out. My philosophy as far as that goes has been to just go with the flow.....being a whiny 'I want a booooooyfrrrriend' airhead is just asking for trouble. Right now, I suppose I should take my own advice and go with the flow.

I haven't done any real work since probably last Monday or Tuesday. This'll be an interesting week.

I got on the scale today at the gym before swimming, and I've lost a good five pounds since before Easter. Go me! I also swam 50 laps with minimum stops, including a straight through 500 (20 laps). I'm quite proud of myself, and I'm going again tomorrow (or later today).

So, just about every plan I had for tonight fell through except one. Julia came up, and we hung out! I haven't gotten to hang out with her in such a long time. We listened to some of our LCCC recordings and sang along, and I showed off a UC recording for her. The timbres of our voices are so different, but in such a way that it's wonderful to harmonize with her. We talked for a while, and watched Moulin Rouge in its entirety. She had never seen it! We had a good time, and it was great to see her again. I don't plan on letting another 7 or 8 months go by before we see each other again. For those of you who don't know, by the way, Julia is a choir buddy of mine from LCCC days (Litchfield County Children's Choir). She's a very talented drummer, pianist, and singer, and damn smart.

I will never get tired of sleep.....

Ok, that was cool.

I just went to see Green Inside for all of like 15 minutes, with Greg. It's always nice to see him :-). And that band. The weather is ridiculously perfect, but everything I should be doing involves not being outside....dammit. Next best thing - open door and window, and clean. This room looks so much better when it's clean.

Julia is coming up tonight! I'm psyched, I haven't seen that girl in waaay too long. I WILL find a way to spend time with everyone I want to spend time with tonight, even if I have to miss a show or two to do it. Gotta be allll about the sacrifices. The funny thing is, earlier this week I wrote that there was nothing going on here this weekend music/arts-wise. Good thing I ended up not going on the air with that (as if anyone ever actually watched UCTV news for their entertainment needs).

Spring cleaning.....

Hmm.....definitely should be outside.

I'm a little disoriented - screwing up my Friday schedule apparently also screws me up. I've been hanging around here for the past couple hours, reading and not cleaning. I had a pleasant surprise while walking to bio today. A girl from my floor was walking to the same class, so we went together. We went to rival high schools in rival towns, and knew each other slightly from high school tennis. We had a nice walk to TLS, and when we got there, it turned out we were only doing evaluations for our 2 bio professors. We got that done, and she had to go to the co-op to pick up a few things, so I tagged along. I looked through the sci-fi section just on the outside chance that they had a Star Wars book I wanted, and they did! One copy of the newest in the series was sitting there, just waiting for me. Later, as we walked out, who do I see but my favorite curly-headed cousin Fran. Well, cousin of a cousin is more specific, but it gets hard to explain. Is he like a cousin once removed or something? I never know how that works. So, now I have tentative plans for tomorrow to play tennis with Ashley, swim with Fran, go to a jazz show with Anne, and hopefully hang out with Greg. I decided a couple days ago to not go home this weekend if it looked like it would be a better investment of my time to stay here, and I 'm sticking to that. My family is moving into the new house this weekend, or already has, I'm not too clear. All I know for sure is that I called this morning, and the answering machine is there and operational. Another reason I wanted to go home is the high school play. It kind of stabs a little into my gut to think about them getting all dressed and makeup-ed as I write this, with sound screwups and mic difficulties and the gym packed with friends and family......I feel bad for not being there. A couple good friends at home have been helping out with the production - set building, rehearsals, etc. I hope it's on good old Plymouth 16 when I go home, but it's still not the same. I feel guilty for not going, but I have to ask myself if anyone will really miss me. For the past couple days I've been telling myself no, but I'm not so sure that's true. No matter how much we all complained about it, "the play" was a huge part of our lives in high school. Ha, so much drama.....Candice and I still talk about past events in relation to the high school plays - "Remember during the play freshman year when such-and-such happened?" "Remember the K-people?", the dirty, dirty alternate songs to South Pacific.....I should be in that damn half-gym right now. It's been well over a year since the last one, and I just had a flashback of sitting in Scott's lap in the wings before the show in that stupid flimsy pink thing......I'm really over a year past that? Good.

Going to see the Conn-men tonight. Should be fun; they're quite goofy.

Good morning!

Skipping physics (and physics homework) today. This will be the first time I've missed that class for anything less than a funeral. No wait, I skipped for something else too......ah I don't remember.

Last night was the choir banquet. And yes, I had a good time. It was like a prom, only less formal and with drunken choir directors. THAT was great. And, the man I was with can dance! You don't find too many (straight) ones that get into it that much. He actually picked me up and twirled me around during one song :-). At least two people last night asked me if we were together - all I can tell you is we had a good time, and I feel comfortable with him. And he has a nice ass.

Shower time!

What exactly am I good at again?

This is just me whining, but I don't think I have a passion any more. There was always something in high school that I could do better than anyone else, or at least better than most. Here I have hobbies and preoccupations, and classes. I can almost feel myself becoming empty. No, that's a bit dramatic - it's just frustrating having been the best musician in my high school, and coming here and being completely outshone. It's the classic small-high-school big-university problem, and if that's the worst of my problems, I'm a spoiled little girl.

As of today, I'm done with physics lab. I got back my exam from Monday. I sure beat my last grades - I got a 34! That's even lower than my 52! But the professor said he would drop the lowest exam, and that an A on the final means an A in the course, period. So why do I keep doing the homework?.... At any rate, I joked today about how I would be camping out in the library studying for the next couple weeks. Yeah......no.

So, I'm finally somewhat excited about the choir banquet tomorrow. I get to wear my sexy green dress again! I know I kind of looked down on the whole choir clique all year, but I've only recently come to realize that most of them really are very friendly, very fun people. Now they all think I'm quiet. I wonder what they'll think if I really let loose and act like myself tomorrow?
It's not that I'm shy - anyone who's gotten to know me definitely knows that. I just kind of take my time getting comfortable around new people and getting to know them before I subject them to The Laura.

Oh yes, there was a fire alarm today. It was around 7pm this time, though. I did absolutely no work tonight. Laundry's in the dryer though! Gonna go redo my toenails while I wait......oh god, I'm becoming one of them, aren't I? The girly girls? Someone come smack some sense into me if I start exhibiting valley-girl characteristics.

Have a good one; I know I did.