Wow......

Well, I just got back from the station. The news went great, I had a lot of fun, the arrangement worked out great for everyone, I got a lot of sincere compliments, and I get to say pretty much whatever I want. My idealistic thoughts of journalistic integrity were quickly subject to reality, which is fine by me - news on my terms. Haha! Really though, I plan on being a counter to Andy, and unbiased for everything else. It's better if I stay off politics. At any rate, I came home happy.

Thoughts to my friends here and at home, and down south, who seemed to have all hit some crisis and/or tragedy at roughly the same time. The friend I mentioned a couple entries back has passed on. It's not going too well down there right now....which is an understatement to say the least.

Well, that wasn't too painful. The exam, I mean. I just may beat my grade on the first one! (which was a 52, no curve)....just a tad sleepy today. I came back up to my room at maybe 1:20 in the morning last night/this morning, and didn't fall asleep until maybe 3ish....didn't want to look at the clock. Up at 7.

Jess is sending me more pics from this weekend....just finished putting them up. Check this out, from my friend Alex's profile (1st year @ VMI):

"The average age of the military man is 19 years. Under normal circumstances he is considered by society as half man, half boy. Not old enough to buy a beer, but old enough to die for his country.

He obeys orders instantly and without hesitation, but he is not without spirit or individual dignity.

If you're thirsty, he'll share his water with you; if you are hungry, his food.

He has learned to use his hands like weapons and weapons like they were his hands. He can save your life - or take it, because that is his job.

He feels every note of the National Anthem vibrate through his body while at rigid attention, while tempering the burning desire to 'square-away' those around him who haven't bothered to stand, remove their hat, or even stop talking. However, he defends their right to be disrespectful.

He is the American Fighting Man that has kept this country free for over 200 years."

I have maybe 40 minutes before linguistics, which I'm actually going to go to today (exam Wednesday). Probably head downstairs with some newspapers to do some "research", i.e. steal what I want to read tonight. Don't forget, 9pm, channel 14 on the uconn campus, webcast at www.uctv14.com.

No news from down South yet.

Pretty down. Letting everything irritate me. Should study.

You know that fluttery feeling you get in your gut when you know you're about to find out something you really, really, don't want to ever find out? You know how it lasts for some time after?

I just got some very bad news about a friend. He was, no is, my ex-boyfriend's best friend, and while I knew him I considered him a friend as well. My thoughts are on both of them right now, as I tried to study for my Physics exam. I'm sure you can guess how well I'm doing with that.

I blew up a little at Saurav today. I used him as an excuse to unload all the hostility and frustration I've been feeling towards what I consider the common ignorance and vapid self-righteousness of most people who see fit to broadcast their mindless "opinions" on all things political and politics-related....and there I go again! But really, why hold it in? I do that far too much - I think I have a real problem with telling people what I really think when the situation calls for it. Even writing here, I hold back a lot because I know people read it, and I don't want to shock or offend too much. God forbid someone changes their opinion of me. So, Rav, if you're reading this, I'm sorry I yelled, but you know I wholeheartedly disagree with everything you said. You will never convince me that Bush is an idiot, because he's not. No one has this magical insight that lets them suddenly know more than the leader of the free world - I guarantee that he knows more about foreign affairs than any of you. God help me, I trust the President. I have faith in my country's leadership.

High school drama with some of my best friends at home - I won't go into it here, but it's the kind of thing where a misunderstanding, rumor, or lie finds and hurts some poor unexpected soul(s). Remember those? Don't they suck?

Writing back to my ex. It looks like he has a new girlfriend.

of today - lots and lots of mixed feelings

Monday at 9, not 8. Watch!

I'm not much for putting up song lyrics all over the place, but I love Smokey Robinson songs:

I Heard it Through the Grapevine
(written by Whitfield/Strong, originally released by Smokey Robinson & the Miracles, made famous by Marvin Gaye)

Oo, I bet you wonder how I knew
'bout your plans to make me blue
with some other guy you knew before
between the two of us guys, you know I love you more
it took me by surprise
when I found out yesterday

Don't you know I heard it through the grapevine?
Not much longer would you be mine.
Oh, I heard it thought the grapevine -
and I'm just about to lose my mind

I know a man ain't supposed to cry
but these tears I can't hold inside
losing you would end my life you see
because you mean that much to me
you could have told me yourself
that you loved someone else

Instead, I heard it through the grapevine.
Not much longer would you be mine.
Oh, I heard it through the grapevine, and I'm just about to lose my mind.

People say believe half of what you see
Son, and none of what you hear
But I can't help but being confused
If it's true, please tell me, dear
Do you plan to let me go for the other guy you loved before?

Don't you know I heard it through the grapevine
Not much longer would you be mine.
Oh, I heard it through the grapevine, and I'm just about to lose my mind.

This emulator is dangerous - how am I supposed to get anything done when such SNES classics as Secret of Mana and (most holy of holies) The Legend of Zelda beckon? Somehow, I shall make it through.....so, lovely planning on my part. Jess and I had decided to go to lunch at South today at 1:42, a quirky time of my choosing, both of us not realizing the fair dining hall closes at 2. Plus we didn't exactly set up a meeting place, so we didn't actually catch up until around 10 of 2. Ah well.

Important physics exam tomorrow. Also be needing to do laundry, etc. Jess took some pics of me that actually came out decent - I'll post them eventually.

Just talked to my cousin - note - if you don't want me to interrupt you while you're playing Diablo 2, put up an away message. :-) Poor baby.

Still up, listening to Green Inside (again). I wish I had gotten both CDs....maybe I'll order the other one.

So, today was nice. Got up around 10, which was early for me. Melissa had her car up here for a bit - I got to ride in a red 2000 BMW convertible :-) The top was up, but no one needs to know that. We went to Starbucks, because Steph was supposed to be working, but she had gone home sick. That reminds me, I still have most of a dry, cold Starbucks cinnamon bun in the fridge...I've been watching the Fox News Channel, since I haven't watched/read the news too much this past week. I realize that really, nothing's on that shouldn't be in terms of US military Intelligence, but the fact that I can sit in my dorm room and listen to retired military leaders and analysts dissect the whole situation is.....unsettling? Naw, I guess it shouldn't be. I just answered my own concerns - the analysts are retired, not active. No matter how official-sounding the military talk is, it's mostly supposition. I think I may have had my facts screwy a few entries back - I don't even remember where I heard that we lost 60 Marines in a day. I think that at the time I wrote it, we didn't really have too many combat casualties at all. Then again, I apparently have no idea what I'm talking about.

On that note, don't forget to watch UCTV, channel 14, Mondays at 8. I'll be a news anchor this week, and if it goes well I may keep doing it. And, if you happen to not be on the uconn campus on Monday at 8, you can always watch the webcast at www.uctv14.com - the whole channel is on a simultaneous webcast, not just certain shows. As in, I'm fairly certain that if you logged on right now, you'd see one of those annoying slides that they put up instead of a blank screen. I take that back, apparently it's static now. Yay static!

Lunch with Jess at 1:42pm tomorrow, sharp. I must be off so I can get up in time to make that. My goodness, it's 3am....

Away message check:

Jess H (yes, this is all one away message):
I could see him clearly, as indisposed as I was. If he wasn't ugly before, with that disgusting purple armor, the giant mech he was riding in really complemented the look. He had knocked X across the room, and X didn't look like he was getting up any time soon. In fact, he was caught in an energy feild.
"Damn it..." I thought. X was more than certainly finished if I didn't do anything... I made up my mind. I charged my arm cannon, and then I overcharged it. I could feel the heat from it on my face. I used the overcharge to disrupt the feild i was caught in, i jumped, and scrambled up the side of the mech Vile was riding in. I jammed my arm down inside it as far as i could, and the overcharge on my cannon blew, ripping my arm apart. That's when my energy core self destructed....
was it enough? Would X be safe?

Julia:
The girl went to the lake:
With her bikini
The girl sat on the beach:
With her bikini
The girl went for a swim:
With her bikini
The girl saw some fish:
With her bikini
The fish swam away:
With her bikini

Kevin:
I used to think that I had it bad because I had no shoes but then I found a dead guy floating in the river. I stood there for a moment, reflecting on this poor soul and my own petty, insignificant problems. Then I stole his wallet and bought some new Timberlands.

Chinese in here, watched the game, then went to late night to see Green Inside :-). Yay Green Inside! And, yay UConn Underground - good people.
No Uconn men in the Elite Eight, but on the plus side, the ball once got stuck between the rim and backboard - I still think we should've gotten points for that.

Tired. Turn off the radio. I swear that station has a playlist of 10 songs, and they all suck. The rest is vapid commercial chatter-noise.

If you can play Preston Reed's "Straight to the Top", I will marry you. Man, woman, I don't care - that's some mad skill, and I want in on it.

Academic Friday's done....time for lying around Friday. Talked to my mom for a bit last night - I just realized today was moving day. Strange men are taking away all my stuff as I type....weird. That makes me officially homeless for the next few weeks. Home address? I don't have one....home phone number? Don't got that either. But it's ok, because I have Buckley! (fakes enthusiasm).
This is a direct quote from last night, heard as I dragged myself to the bathroom at maybe 2:30 in the morning from one of the valley girls' rooms -
"STOP TICKLING ME YOU FUCKING CUNT!!!!!!!"
Nice, eh? It must be sweet to not have Friday classes, but dammit some of us do, and early at that.

So, the protesters are being actively protested. I find the whole debacle amusing, and since one of them yelled at Emily and me to "get a fucking life" for putting up a poster, I'm staying clear of the whole mess. Still, they're not doing anything legally wrong, they have a right to peacefully assemble, although some of their methods could possibly be on that fuzzy border between peaceful protest and disturbing the peace.....but they have every right to demonstrate, just like others have the right to put up counter-signs and dress someone up like Sadaam to stand next to them and wave. Watch channel 14 at 8pm Monday night - UCTV news. Rachel's working on a story about them, and I know she has footage.

My ex and I talked a few nights ago, and for once I didn't feel that strained feeling I was getting with him. He's one of a kind, that's for sure. I know for sure we'll never be "friends", casual, close, whatever. I've been on this paragraph for maybe 5 minutes, and that's the only definite thing I can say about that situation.

UCONN Late Night tonight? Or will I be passed out in Jess's room with "The Empire Strikes Back" on and Chinese food strewn about by 9?
I'll let you guess.

It only takes 5 hours at a computer to become exhausted, and develop problems that include difficulty sleeping - are you surprised?

Taking a nap before I head back out - wearing a skirt! It's really not warm enough yet, but dammit I've waited long enough. Goodnight for a bit.

She's back - phew! Here I was, thinking she would be the next UCONN horror story.

I'm sick of choir, and I'm more sick of choir people, specfically choir girls. You can go on and on and ON about how music reflects life, music IS life, but when you bury all your five senses into a sheet of music and a keyboard all day, worrying about intonation and rhythms and all that fun technical stuff, you're not too in touch with the real world. In the middle of that last sentence my RA came in and asked if she could use one of our printers to print out a picture she wanted to send to a friend of hers who just joined the Marines. She is probably the most spacy person I've ever met, but she is a sweetie. And, I have a soft spot for Marines.

Arguing with my little sister online - it's nice that she's branched out.

My roommate never came back last night. I'm worried.

I fixed the time - look! It really is 8am.

You are reading the diary of the new UCTV news anchor. Isn't that exciting? Ha, Rachel and Andy both think it's a good idea, so as long as I don't wimp out at the last minute I'm all over that shit. Maybe I'll find my calling. That's Monday at 8, channel 14 on the UConn campus, or watch the webcast at www.uctv14.com. Well, since I've spent the last few hours doing nothing (it was so sweet), I guess I'll go get some calc done, then linguistics since I've given up going to that lecture. Then again, maybe after the Twilight Zone........look for me in the study lounge; I'll be there eventually.

Animals don't have holidays.

'Tis beautiful outside! Very springy. I just might put on a skirt later.

In the midst of the weekly physics/calc/bio grind. I have enough time to take a shower and head back up to the north end of campus, yet again, for 4 hours of science-y goodness. So, I got a letter from the music department yesterday. I have been officially wait-listed. It's nice to feel wanted. I called home and left a message for my parents letting them know as well. My mom sounded stressed last time I called...I would be too if I was living with my sister and dad right now. I can just imagine what the house must look like. Ah well, shower time.

I still need a date for next weekend, any takers?

The song that I thought was entitled "Whatever My Love" by the Beatles is actually "Never My Love" by The Association.....still good.
Strawberry applesauce, then Calc. It's a tad chilly today.

Why I love my friends:

Kitsune Zero 179: france is gonna hafta whore itself out after this one
lelila1015: I think they've got that covered.
lelila1015: Slutty French.
Kitsune Zero 179: thats what it gets for sucking saddam off for nickles. bright shiny nickels of terror.


intrueform: *Disclaimer* Alex will not pay for ANY medical bills or thearpy sessions. He will just laugh at you and put spider on ur back and watch u squeal.
intrueform: spider (plural)

Want to go swimming with me? I'm going soon, as soon as I finish digesting. No good swimming on a full stomach.
We lost 60 Marines yesterday. Are they really over there counting the number of pro versus anti-war protesters there are in the warm, mild streets here? I like to think they're focused on getting a job done, and not getting killed. That radio clip Emily sent out is great. IM me if you want to hear it - it's an Iraqi citizen (or former, not too clear on that) chewing out some stupid self-righteous girl on a radio show. The host of the radio show, incidentally, is a recently called-up reservist. Don't know which branch.

Somewhere, I'm going to find the book of tasteless jokes my dad mentioned last week. Apparently it was so bad he actually threw it out, which says a lot, especially if you know my dad.

I'm going to wear a swim cap today - never done that before, so I practiced in the mirror just now. How do these girls get all their hair under one? I'm going to have to super-glue my hair down, after tying it back. It looks like a big, flat, red lightbulb. Red is a "power" color, according to my mom. That reminds me, I need a date for a ball.....ha, it reminded me because I want to wear my red dress, and the swimming cap is red, so red reminded me...yup. Wanna be my date? Keep April 4th free. I'd rather not ride solo on this one.

Off to the pool!

From an e-mail from my good friend Meg Donovan:

You might be a Leprechaun if...

You snicker uncontrollably all through "Darby O'Gill And The Little People."
Their record collection is stocked only with very short artists -- Paula Abdul, Sheena Easton, Prince, Phil Collins.
You get jumpy every time friends ask you if you can cover them for lunch.




When you see a rainbow, you get a greedy little look in your eye. (Arrrr, there's me pot o' gold!)
In your cupboard -- nothing but Lucky Charms cereal.
Every time you get your paycheck, you convert it into gold coins and bury it somewhere.




You insist on dancing a jig on your way to work each morning to the embarrassment of all your friends.
You've been under a rock for the past few years.
You just despise fairies. ("Wing Envy" if you ask me!)




You try to pick up women by saying "Ah, lassie, you have dazzling kneecaps, you do."
When drunk, you discourse endlessly on shoes, and annoy folks by saying things like "How can ye not know what a grommet is, lad? You're wearing several on yer feet! What are ye, dumb?"




Around St. Patrick's Day, you stock up on Shamrock Shakes at McDonald's.
When you say something is "magically delicious," it really is.





And the number one way you can tell

you might be a Leprechaun:

You're three feet tall, Irish, have red hair, cuss, drink and wear green a lot!

Hey now! I'm back here from break, having walked out of my house for the last time, ever, this afternoon. It's surreal, but then again I think it probably hasn't really hit me yet. Here I pause to see if I can find a song my dad sang in the car today on the way up here - "Sunny Afternoon" by The Kinks.
Found it! Too bad I couldn't while Dad was still here. So, I'm back here for the long haul - no house to go back to even if I wanted to.
The Oscars are on - apparently Michael Moore made a huge scene - I wasn't here to see it, but my roommate told me about it. What a big, fat, communist, irresponsible excuse for a man he is.

This is a good song! I have my dad's guitar up here, so I think I just might look up the tabs for it, make people think I'm talented. I'm good at that. Oh damn, it cuts out - I'll have to find another version. So, I had a pretty slow break, spent a lot of time at home, fun stuff like that. Tonight I might even do homework. I'm proud of myself for putting everything away andonly forgetting minimal details. I just noticed that my roommate put a bunch of decorative spring-y Easter eggs on our window. When did eggs become synomous with Easter? The whole "rebirth" theme, I suppose.

Lalala, waiting for Candice to call back......

Well, I totally just wrote a nice long entry, and then promptly lost the whole thing. So, you get to not read me whining for a few paragraphs.

Goodnight!

So, here it is. My own little (sigh) blog. It's two days before the official start of spring break, and it's snowing.

If you're one of my fans, you know that I had a pretty extensive subprofile up for quite a while. It's gone now, so today begins my attempt, of sorts, to replace it. One of my favorite things to do was post bits and pieces of conversations with friends, quotes that sound funny out of context, etc. On that note, I'll put up a little of the conversation I just had with Jay:

Schnauzaluv: so you're in like house limbo? Wow, thats no fun

Schnauzaluv: I'll fuck up my own roof before I bring in a 'homeless preacher' to help out
Schnauzaluv: I mean, come on
lelila1015: Yeah really - is a new roof at a bargain price really worth your 15 year-old daughter?
Schnauzaluv: only if the kid is a REAL brat
lelila1015: Well, maybe if they had a lot of them....

Ha! I'm so politically incorrect. Many people I know would be very shocked if they knew what I really thought about most of the time.

Today after my lifeguarding midterm I went to the co-op. That's a nice place to study, if you haven't tried it yet. The coffee's good. Anyway, I had a few hours to kill before calc, so I did some physics homework (all of two problems), read the paper, and took a walk through the book section. Oddly enough, I didn't see anything I really wanted to go out of my way to read, even if it was free at a library. When did this happen? Books nowadays are so unappealing....there were a few classics thrown in there, but most were political rants, 'touching' stories of immigrants, or some epic fantasy about elves, long-lost royalty, mystical jewels, or medieval alien legend. Riiiiight.....the stuff that passes for sci-fi nowadays. Give me Ray Bradbury or Isaac Asimov any day. That reminds me, I did see a couple interesting books, but they were either science or softcore porn. I ended up getting some overpriced novelty-UCONN golf balls for my grandpa, and a bag of Reisen's.

I'm going home tomorrow. My dad will be here at 3:30....I love my dad. I trust and respect him more than I'd ever say to his face. Where would I be without him to contradict everything I learn in school?

I should take my bag of Reisen's and my physics stuff downstairs so I don't sit here and waste my time all day - I haven't gotten out too much this week, and I probably won't either. In the words of Deanna Carter, I shaved my legs for this? Off I go.